Bachelorette Recap

Yes, I'm behind on my Bachelorette blogs. And rather than recap those weeks I'm just going to give my thoughts on this week's hometown dates and the remaining bachelors. Please try not to let this upset you too much...

Roberto: One of my early favorites. I still like him, but Ali's relationship with him pretty much consists of kissing and whathaveyou. And most relationships like that don't work...unless you're 16. His family seemed like a lot of fun, and Ali fit in well with them. But I noticed something in the conversation she had with his dad about life goals: she talked about career goals first. Yes, she eventually mentioned family and kids, but it seems to me those aren't a priority to her. And maybe that's why the reason I'm hooked on this season has less to do with Ali finding "love" and more about something else. I'll get to that in just a bit...

Kirk: He seems like a good guy, but he needs a few more life/love lessons before he'll be truly ready to settle down, I think. And this is probably the reason he wasn't given a rose last night. Well, that coupled with the sightly odd hometown visit. His dad is a taxidermist - and I've never seen a prouder one (well, he's the only one I've seen, so I guess I can't be considered an expert). So proud, in fact, that he took Ali to the basement, which showcased his MANY deceased projects. My favorite had to be the caribou foot that he put red eyes on. I don't think the Metropolitan Museum of Art will be calling anytime soon. Oh, but the highlight of it all was the freezer. WHERE HE KEEPS THE DEAD ANIMALS AND FROZEN SNACKS. "Ali, would you like a popsicle? Wait, let me get the hair off first...."

Sidenote: Kirk's dad reminded me of someone, and I finally figured 
out he's a combination of these two people...

 *I tried to get these pics to post side-by-side to no avail.

Frank: This guy is quirky. Ali seems to love that about him. He is very insecure though, and so is she. Not exactly ideal for a long-lasting relationship. But once they got to Frank's house and started visiting with his family, they both seemed less tense. 

*Another sidenote: Was anyone else bothered by Frank's outfit? Specifically the low-cut tee? 

I think Frank is the guy Ali has the most feelings for at this point. She lights up when she's with him. Sadly, it looks like Frank is going to break her heart next week. 

And this is why I don't think Ali will choose anyone. She is clearly into Frank the most, and once he ruins her trust in him it's going to have a domino effect...She'll wonder how she could've been so blind. She'll second-guess everything. 

And that will lead to a still-single Ali when this is all over. 

Not shocking at all because this isn't truly a show about finding love. The track record of only two marriages from the franchise is proof of that. It's purely for entertainment, a total guilty pleasure for us viewers. Most of the contestants go on the show to further careers or become "discovered." Only a handful of people are actually there to find love. 

And this brings me to the last guy remaining...

Be still my heart. Chris L.

This guy is there for Ali. That's it. Nothing else. And I believe it's safe to say anyone who watches this show has become smitten. Here are the top 10 reasons to love Chris L.

1. He's funny. Dry and sarcastic humor. Enough said on that subject.

2. He owns a dog. And he loves her to pieces.

3. He was a teacher in inner-city New York. 

4. He moved back home to be with his mom when she became sick (how well a man will treat a woman is directly related to his relationship with his mom. I'm sure there is scientific proof out there somewhere).

5. He comes from a wonderful family. His dad had me in tears several times. He is sentimental and all about family. And Chris seems to be a chip off the ol' block.

6. He also works as a landscaper. This means he doesn't mind manual labor and can probably fix things around the house. And he's also probably good with his hands - yes, I went there. I'm sorry.

7. He's manly and hunky. 

8. He makes Converse sneakers and dress pants look good instead of dorky.

9. He's a good kisser. You can tell by the way he just goes right in, no holds barred, when he kisses Ali. I'm sorry...again.

10. He is 33. He's not in his twenties, like some of the other guys, and is mature and knows what he wants and what is truly important in life.

I could keep going, but I'll stop. If Ali doesn't choose him she is nuts. And if he becomes the next Bachelor, I may just apply to be on the show.

Wait....I think that would require putting on a bikini on national tv. 

On second thought, I'll just make a trip up to Cape Cod.